FAILURES: FROM MY MEMOIRS, PART 3

MAD APPROACH TO AVOID FAILURES:

My son, Ankur was in KG 1. I went to his school for getting his final result. I approached his teacher for result but found that one of his classmates was crying. And his mother was having a verbal fight with the teacher. She told that her son has performed 100 % well. Then why he got only 98 % marks. She took it as a part of failures for his son.

In fact, there are many parents who want their kids to stand first in the class. However, first position is possible only for one person. There is a great level of frustration in others because they cannot reach that position. It is often due to parent’s unjustified expectations. As a result, students develop inferiority complex. Even after performing above average, they think themselves to be failures. This stops their progress and growth.

In life, it is necessary to set ambitious goals. As, we need to think big before achieving big. But, hurdles will always be there on the pathway. Bigger the goal, bigger the challenges. Sometimes we can achieve our goals. Sometimes, not. In that case, we can rework our goals and move ahead. There is no need to get disturbed. It is all in the game of life.

MY OWN STORY:

Parents play a special role in life. In part 2 of My Memoirs, I explained that I got admission in Engineering College. http://improvemylives.com/focus-on-goals-from-my-memoirs-part-2/. After that, I was in comfort zone during first semester. I was already a good student. But, exams came just after 4 months of joining classes. I was not well prepared. As a result, I secured 17 % marks in Math I paper and got disappointed.

My father thought that Engineering studies may be difficult for me. His dream for me was to become an engineer. Still, he supported me. He did not force me to get good results. He told me that I can shift to B. Sc. if engineering seems difficult. Also, he left open the issue for me to take my own decision. I was not under any pressure from parents and therefore I took my own decision. I always had a positive attitude. University had a provision to clear Math paper by compensating in second semester.

I came out of my comfort zone. Started preparing for second semester seriously. Put more time for studies. And, I secured 90 % marks this time in Math II paper. Consequently, I cleared this paper. I converted my failure into success. After this, there was no turning back.

LOOKING BACK:

My performance remained very good during rest of the semesters in engineering. And I have been living an extra ordinary life since then. But, today, when I look back, I learn some very important aspects of life:

• My father had not shown any displeasure on my failure. Rather, he encouraged me to take right decision of my choice.
• This has given me the necessary strength to come out of the negative situation. Even under such a grim situation, the environment in my family was extremely positive.
• When I decided to continue my studies in Engineering College, my father and other family members did not have an iota of doubt about my come back.

• During my studies, I never thought that I have to compete with anyone.
• I always thought that I have potential. And, I should make efforts to reach my full potential.
• Therefore, I did not develop enmity with anyone. Rather, I had strong friendship with most of my friends in the class.

FAILURES NOT AN OPTION TODAY:

Today, people are running towards success. Nothing is wrong in that. But social media is controlling people’s life these days. Every body is willing to show him/herself better than others. Usaki saree meri saree se jyada safed! In the process they forget to build up on their own strength. When we work on our strengths we may get challenges. God will surely test us before gifting us the reward. Failures are bound to happen. But, there is a need to learn from failures and move ahead.

The education system itself teaches us to avoid failures. This is the biggest flaw in our education system. Those with high rank are rewarded. Parents want their children to excel in all examinations. Employers want their employees to perform without getting failures. God has given us different capabilities. Every body can’t perform every thing. But, failures are not seen with good eye. Remember friends, in the process of achieving, failures are natural. But, since failures are not taken positively in our society, people get into depression mode.

LEARN FROM FAILURES:

In case, failures can be taken as natural and as stepping steps for success, people will have motivation to find ways to come out of failures. They will learn from failures and select another path to ultimately get success.

Several great successful people in life were considered failures at some time in their life. To name a few: Steve Jobs, Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, Walt Disney, Thomas Edison and the Beatles. They did not bother as what will people say. They kept on doing what was necessary to build a base for their success. In-spite of failure, they became great success and set examples for all of us.

https://youtu.be/zLYECIjmnQs

MY TAKE AWAY:

• Failures are essential part of success. You can not succeed continuously without getting failures.
• Learn to expect failures. Because failures are an indication that you are near to success.
• Parents and teachers should teach children from early age that there should not be any fear from failure.
• As a parent, support your kid always, and keep his/her morale high, specially during adverse conditions.
• When a failure occurs, cool down and think about it’s causes. Write down what is your learning from this. What changes you will make in your life to avoid such a situation in future.
• Never ever give up. Sometimes, you may feel that you have tried everything but failed. But remember, that is the time when you are nearest to success. Just go one step farther. You will find that success is waiting for you.
• Support your friends and colleagues at the time of their failures. Help them to create a positive mind set that they have the capability to overcome this situation and win ultimately.

Well friends! I am sure with this you have got another perspective of failure. And, surely, you can win always.

Your Friend, Dr Lokesh N Rai