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It was yesterday night when I was about to go for a good night sleep that I received a call from one of my friends. He is now about 40 years of age and was furious that why God has not given him opportunities that others from our friends group have got! In-spite of doing hard work all these years, why his life is just average when other friends are enjoying great lifestyle even without much efforts. As a friend, it was my responsibility to make things clear to him. Although I had discussed these issues with him earlier also, but this time again I explained him my analysis of his current situation. The point relevant to his current situation that I wanted to drive once again was about association, about the people with whom he had been spending time. So, let me explain how association is important in our journey towards success.


We have a tendency to stay comfortable in the company of some people. These are normally friends with whom you don’t have any need to stretch your limits. As such you spend most of your time in their company. But, the success coach, Jim Rohn says that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. A quick test of this statement is to write down names of 5 persons with whom you spend maximum time and find their average income. Most likely, this is going to be your income at present. And if you spend time with people who are average in life but still do not learn to stretch their limits and keep feeling ok in their current situation; you will also remain an average person. With such association, neither you can develop big dreams, nor can you recognize your hidden potential to grow. If you want to know why your life is as it is today, just look into your last 5 years. It would be clear that the people with whom you have been spending most of your time has a great impact on your today’s condition.

Thus, it is extremely important that you spend time with people who are achievers and you want to reach their level in life. Such persons will force you to make certain changes, which may seem to be difficult, but stay with them, learn and you will be able to achieve big things that look almost impossible at present.


When I was working in a large public sector company at a senior management level, my association was with similarly positioned friends. Just like them I was also very busy, having no time for fun or family. Being in association of one another, we all were growing professionally but our families were suffering because we were forced to spend more time with company than with family. We all used to think that for career growth, little bit of sacrifice has to be done and our families have to adjust accordingly.

But then something happened. Somehow, I came in contact with few younger people who were financially secure and retired and were enjoying their life with friends and family members. I started spending more time with them even if it was to be late in night. They were successful in life, earning much more than me and were able to spend quality time with all members of their families. I stayed in association with them and guess what? With their association, it just took two years and I was also financially secure and happily retired. Yes, of course I had to learn new traits from them and discipline myself to build a new unimaginable future. But it was worth, and this new association only helped me to have a better life.


Before you decide, with whom to spend your time, here is a quick guide:



Who tells you that you can’t do this or you can’t do that.

Whose talk is not relevant to your aspirations.

Who stops you from taking new challenges and developing new productive habits.

Who are time wasters.

Who are not progressing in life and are not willing to come out of their comfort zone.

In whose presence you feel small as they keep emphasizing their greatness.

There is a saying that if you have friends like that you don’t need enemies.



They believe in your capability and tell you that you can achieve anything.

They always talk about your dreams and aspirations.

They encourage you to accept new challenges and develop new success habits.

They are growing every day in life and are already successful.

Time spent with them is always productive and you learn new life lessons.

With them you develop more confidence and enhanced self image.


Both the processes of dissociation and association will not be easy. Negative people may be from your own family or profession. You can’t physically disengage with them. Also, positive people are successful and would not like to have friendship with less successful people. Well, here is a guideline to meet the objective of cutting off time with negative people and increasing time with successful, positive people:

  1. Stop having unproductive meetings, gatherings or outings with negative people. Have courage to say NO.
  2. If negative people are close ones, stop having discussions about your aspirations with them.
  3. If you are getting negative association from TV, news papers or digital social media; make a strong determination to get away from them immediately.
  4. Have a mentor or coach who is successful in the same area where you want to grow and is willing to guide you. Spend more time with him or her.
  5. Watch or listen streaming of successful people in your chosen area so that you will remain in touch with them for more time and learn success principles.
  6. Attend webinars, seminars or presentations of successful people and learn and implement their teachings.
  7. Read books recommended by your coach, every day at-least for 30 minutes. This way you will be associated with a successful person (the author) for that much duration and learn his or her success traits.
  8. Use social media productively but don’t waste time unwisely. It should be used either for learning or for earning.


Friends! A good friend, a good association will always encourage you to go beyond your perceived limits by breaking barriers. If you are a person with great ambitions and willingness to have an exciting lifestyle, choose your association, wisely, so that you can tell them:

You took my hand

and made me see

that God has a special

plan for me.

Dr. Lokesh N Rai

P.S. : Did you find something useful in this post? Please offer your comments in the comment box. Send your email id for a free consultation.


4 Responses

  1. Its true that positive association creates an tremandous change. I feel it in my personal life when I got association of some positive and sucessful people.

  2. You’re so interesting! I do not believe I have read
    something like this before. So great to find somebody with some original thoughts on this issue.

    Seriously.. thank you for starting this up. This site is one
    thing that is required on the web, someone with some originality!

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