Lokesh Rai
Bhopal, Madhya Pradesh

Personal Development

Sushant Singh Rajput: We Love You

on
July 16, 2020

INTRODUCTION:

The whole nation is shocked to learn about the suicide of Sushant Singh Rajput. From media news, I understand that he had serious challenges in the Bollywood industry. The fact is that challenges are faced by people in all walks of life where there is competition. Then the question is that why seemingly intelligent people take such harsh decision?

A thought is coming to my mind. It is true that we can’t reverse such incidences. But we can surely do something to help people overcome their life threatening situations and live life beautifully. What if his friend whom he called in late night could respond to his call? This could probably save his life. Such incidences do happen sometimes even with people whom we know. And after it’s happening, we wonder how it happened? If we can become a little more sensitive and develop good understanding, we can help and protect people to some extent from taking such drastic steps. In this post we shall discuss how can we be sensitive towards people and help them come out of such situations?

WHAT CAUSES EMOTIONAL PRESSURE?

1. TROLLING / PROVOKING / TEASING:

While I was working in an industry, Ranjan was transferred to my Department. I found that he is mentally disturbed and could not be given important assignments. Since his educational qualifications were excellent I wanted to learn why and how he has reached in this disturbed mental state. What I found was surprising. I learnt that during the early period of his career, he used to take lunch with his friends in a restaurant. These friends used to tease him without failure every day. Over the weeks and months, this teasing has resulted in some sort of mental disturbance and has made the life of this person miserable. It took my consistent positive and motivating attitude towards him for quite some time to bring him out of that disturbed mindset.

Even school going children are teased and some of them ultimately get mentally disturbed.
Trolling is another way of provoking people on internet.
All such behavior, if not controlled, may lead a person to take the ultimate decision.

ACTION POINT:

Therefore, let us promise not to indulge knowingly or unknowingly in any form of trolling, provoking or teasing.

And, if you see it happening somewhere, make your best efforts either to stop it or to protect the person who is being subjected to it.

 

Emotional Pressure

 

2. CHALLENGES IN JOB:

When I recall my early life in the job I find that one of my seniors had some of his own challenges. But in order to prove his worth, he used to create some problems or another for me. At that time, although I was full of energy and enthusiasm, I used to get disturbed and think about changing the job. However, I was lucky enough to find two great seniors from my home state as mentors in the Company. I used to discuss my challenges with them and they used to guide me. With their support, I could stop my negative thoughts and establish myself.

https://thelifeuddeshya.com/how-to-manage-effectively-at-job-grow-professionally/

ACTION POINT:

The point here is that if you are in trouble at your job, find some mentor who can guide you. But if the problem persists then change is a good option. Believe that you have potential and will find opportunities elsewhere. Be wise not to leave a job, till you get another one.

Or, if you have the ability to guide someone in trouble, do it proactively. Make a habit to listen to people with empathy and you will recognize who needs help.

3. BUSINESS CHALLENGES:

Coming to business owners; in July 2019 Cafe Coffee Day’s Founder, VG Siddhartha committed suicide. According to one study, his net worth was valued over 18000 crore rupees. https://www.businesstoday.in/current/corporate/vg-siddhartha-coffee-day-enterprises-assets-valued-at-over-rs-18000-crore/story/369235.html

In a letter, Siddharth mentioned that he was under business pressure and taxtortion. If we look for the year 2018, a total of 7990 businessmen committed suicide. The major cause was bankruptcy and indebtedness. Other causes in order of seriousness were: family issues, illness, and marriage related issues, drug addiction, and love affair.

https://www.business-standard.com/article/companies/business-suicides-up-2-7-in-2018-bankruptcy-remains-the-biggest-cause-120011500256_1.html

ACTION POINT:

Now, if you are a businessman:

  • Understand that failures are a part of the game. Accept failures and learn from them. Select another way to move ahead. But keep doing something to make earning.
  • Find a coach who has won over similar situations and follow his teachings.
  • Share your challenges with family members and with those friends who truly love you no matter what. When you open up, you may feel light and may get some solution.
  • If you are unable to stop negative thoughts, consult a psychiatrist.

Or, if you are a friend or family member of a businessman under pressure, keep in touch. Be sensitive to his mood swings. Discuss issues. Encourage him. Don’t leave him alone. Do some physical exercise with him as exercise is a good tool to make a person happy and upbeat.

4.EMOTIONAL ISSUES:

A few years back, I was in a remote place and was staying in a 3-bed room house. A young boy was also staying with me. One day I noticed that he was a little bit disturbed after getting a mail. I thought he would be fine in some time. But it did not happen that way. Therefore, I took him to a coffee shop the next day and discussed the issue. I found that it was a matter of a one-sided love affair. I tried my way to help him.  However, after 2 or 3 days, I found that his tension had increased. That night, I got suspicious about his intentions. I did not allow him to sleep alone.  I shifted to his room. The whole night, we could not sleep. He cried a lot and told me in detail about his affair. I just listened coolly and assured him that he is strong enough to overcome this challenge. By the next day, he had changed his mind and his tension was reduced. Next few days, I did not leave him alone and finally, he gave away all his tension and became normal.

ACTION POINT:

The purpose of telling you this story is that sometimes you will be close to a person who is under depression. Try to recognize such a condition and do your best to help him. It is important to use your words wisely so that he does not feel offended at any time. Quite often, just spending time together and not leaving a person may be good enough to divert his attention.

5. OTHER ISSUES:

As per the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) Report, in 2018, one unemployed person committed suicide every hour. A total of 134516 suicides were reported that year. There are various causes of suicides like professional / career problems, sense of isolation, abuse, violence, family problems, marriage issues, dowry-related problems, failure in examinations, mental disorders, addiction to alcohol, financial loss, chronic pain, etc.

https://www.indiatvnews.com/news/india/one-unemployed-suicide-hour-2018-ncrb-crime-unemployment-578310#:~:text=Every%20year%2C%20more%20than%201,commit%20suicide%20in%20our%20country.&text=A%20total%20of%2010%2C349%20persons,%2C34%2C516)%20in%20the%20country.

Although a nationwide policy is required to reduce the number of suicides; as a citizen, each one of us can contribute in some way towards this cause. Some important points are:

ACTION POINTS:

  • Do not compare yourself with others. Make your best efforts and accept the results.
  • Accept failures as stepping stones. Trace alternative paths but don’t quit.
  • If you don’t like the environment then find something else. Especially, stay away from negative people.
  • Select each step of your plan diligently. Expect failures. Keep alternatives ready in case of failures.
  • Be extra cautious in case of a partnership. Keep the worst to happen in mind. In most of the partnership businesses, people get cheated by their own best friends or relatives.
  • Don’t invest or spend money without serious thought. It is better to consult an expert who has proven credentials in that field.
  • Competition is there in most of the work areas and it leads to mental and physical pressure. Do your best to stay in the game, but if your sleep is seriously disturbed because of such pressure; move out. There are ample opportunities outside, believe in yourself, and find some other way.
  • Remember & follow the quote given by Reinhold Niebuhr: God! Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
  • Listen streaming of successful people. Read motivational books on personal growth. This way you will develop mental strength.
  • Develop a good relationship with some of your friends and relatives. Ensure that these are the people who have always given you the right advice. Share your challenges with them.
  • Focus also on your physical & spiritual strength. Make yoga, running, and gym as part of your routine. Keep some time for daily meditation.

THE TAKE AWAY:

Finally, understand that life is precious. This is God’s best gift to all human beings. But it is not just a bed of roses. Everyone will have his or her share of challenges. We don’t have to quit when the testing time comes. We only have to learn to overcome the challenge and move ahead.

हालात बदलते हैं

क्योंकि

कुछ लोग

मैदान छोड़कर

भागने से

इंकार करते हैं।

Also, let us be vigilant to observe if some of our friends or relatives are unable to bear the pressure. Develop trust with them and help them to get over their challenges.

Dr. Lokesh N Rai

P.S.: Well! How did you like this post? Pl put your thoughts in the comment box. Leave your mail id in the comment box for a free consultation.

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6 Comments
  1. Avatar
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    Sanjay K Mathur

    July 19, 2020

    Excellent.. IMO fear of failure or fear of loosing position/ power contribute significantly in people’s mind while taking such extreme steps. One need immense courage to face failure. It is important that from childhood we should teach kids how to face such situations

    • Avatar
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      Lokesh Rai

      July 20, 2020

      Very true. There is a need to educate right from school classes that failures are stepping steps to success. Parents and teachers have to play a very important role.

  2. Avatar
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    Dr. Ravishanker V Choudri

    July 19, 2020

    Beautifully written to make understand the value of one’s life and the ways to overcome the challenges of life.

    Indebted to have to an association with you.

    Will share this article with every one.

    Regards

    • Avatar
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      Lokesh Rai

      July 20, 2020

      Thanks Ravi. You can give students inputs to learn how to overcome situations in life.

  3. Avatar
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    Satish Mathur

    July 23, 2020

    Indeed a beautiful teaching regarding value of life in today’s competitive environment. Also teaches to take care of connected person in their tight corner. Sanjay truely wrote that we have to brought up the new generation in such a environment where they understand the preciousness of life.
    Thanks for your thoughts and hope we will get regularly motivational guidence from you on burning issues.

    • Avatar
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      Lokesh Rai

      July 25, 2020

      Quite thoughtful comments. Life is precious and we must learn to value it.
      New blog is in its final stage and is likely to be published soon. Thanx a lot.

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